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Transcripts/The Parent Map
on door : Mail Pony: sighs : on door : on door : opens : Mail Pony: throat Morning, Sunburst. : Sunburst: What? Oh! Hi! nervously You know, no matter how many times I read it, Houyhnhnm's Guide to Magical Arcana never gets boring. : Mail Pony: If you say so. I've got another letter for you. From Sire's Hollow. : Sunburst: Mm-hmm. Sure thing. : closes : Mail Pony: groans : thud : sounds : Sunburst: What's this? Could I be experiencing the cerebration transmogrification effect described in chapter seventeen—? : thud : Sunburst: Oh. My cutie mark is glowing. My cutie mark is glowing! I know what this means! Why am I yelling?! : song : Sunburst: Princess Twilight, what an honor this is! I-I mean, it is, right? I'm called for a friendship mission? : Twilight Sparkle: You sure are. And it must be a special one. Nopony outside of Ponyville has ever been called before. : Spike: If you need some pointers, let me know. I've been on my fair share of missions. : Twilight Sparkle: You've been on one, Spike. : Spike: And that's my fair share. : opens : Sunburst: Starlight! You mean we've both been called? This is great! : Starlight Glimmer: depressed Yeah... Great... : Sunburst: Aren't you excited? You and me on a mission together! : Starlight Glimmer: groans : Sunburst: I'm... sorry. Are you not excited to go on a mission with me? : Starlight Glimmer: No. Uh, no! I mean, yes. Heh. Totally excited about us going together. Just... not so excited about where. : Sunburst: Sire's Hollow? : Starlight Glimmer: Yep. Home. : Sunburst: deflated Oh. Great. : Spike: You know, I can go if you two don't want to. I am kind of an expert. : Twilight Sparkle, Starlight Glimmer, and Sunburst: groans : chugging : conversations : Starlight Glimmer: sighs It's not that I don't want to go home. It's just that whenever I do, my dad treats me like a filly. Like nothing's changed since I was a foal. : Sunburst: Huh. : Starlight Glimmer: I know. I'm a horrible daughter. : Sunburst: N-No, no! My mom actually does kind of the same thing. : Starlight Glimmer: Really? : Sunburst: I don't even have to go home. She sends me letters constantly asking about my plans for the future. Stellar Flare "You're a grown-up pony, Sunburst! You need a plan!" sighs I haven't been home in a while either. : Starlight Glimmer: Hmph. We'll just have to explain to our parents that we're on an important friendship mission so they can't bother us. : Sunburst: Do you really think that will work? : Starlight Glimmer: Nope! : hissing : whistle : chugging : Sunburst: sighs The great thing about home is it always stays just how you le— : thud : Sunburst: Augh! : Starlight Glimmer: Where did that come from? : creaking : Automated voice: Welcome to Sire's Hollow! : "Ever Essence": Essence? : Sunburst: Essence of what? : "Ever Essence": You tell me. : spritz : Sunburst: coughing : Starlight Glimmer: What is it? : Sunburst: Uh... chocolate maybe? : "Ever Essence": Not chocolate maybe. Chocolate definitely! And all of the benefits with none of the drawbacks. : Sunburst: Didn't this used to be a fruit stand? : "Ever Essence": I don't know what it used to be. The Sire's Hollow Development Committee determined what it is. : Sunburst: The Sire's Hollow Development what? Where do ponies buy fruit? : "Ever Essence": You can get a fruit smoothie two doors down. : Sunburst: All the shops are different. Everything's changed! : Starlight Glimmer: Not everything. That's the same as it ever was. : opens : "Raspberry Latte": Sorry. Our bookstore's been declared a site of historical significance by the Sire's Hollow Preservation Society. : "Minty Mocha": You'll have to experience the books from here. That's why windows are see-through. : slams : Sunburst: What?! : Starlight Glimmer: Preservation Society? What is happening around here? : Firelight: I'll explain it to you, sugarplum! chuckles You are just as cutesy-wutesy as ever! : Starlight Glimmer: muffled Dad! normally Quit it! What is going on? : Firelight: Oh, just a father wanting to preserve our town's rich history for his little pumpky-wumpkin! chuckles : Starlight Glimmer: Dad, you promised no "pumpky-wumpkin"'s in public! : Sunburst: laughter : Firelight: whispering Sorry, chipmunk cheeks. : smack! : Starlight Glimmer: Don't. You're preserving the whole town? That's crazy! : Stellar Flare: That's exactly what I told him! I said, "Firelight, you're crazy!" : Sunburst: Mom? : Stellar Flare: Our village needs the same thing you do, Sunburst – a clear plan for the future. : snip! : Stellar Flare: That's why I started the Sire's Hollow Development Committee. And I've got plans for this little town. Big plans! : Firelight: Listen here, Stellar Flare! I'm not gonna let you turn our historical heritage into Las Pegasus! : Stellar Flare: And I'm not gonna let you turn it into a museum! : Firelight and Stellar Flare: growling : Starlight Glimmer: W-Wait. Are you two fighting over this? : Sunburst: Like having a friendship problem? : Stellar Flare: Oh, there's no problem. : Firelight: Because there is no friendship! : Sunburst: Well, the good news is we know why we're here. : Starlight Glimmer: huffs : Sunburst: sighs Maybe we should've sent Spike after all. : Starlight Glimmer: sighs : sounds : Starlight Glimmer: Sunburst and I were called here to do a job, and it looks like you two are it. : Stellar Flare: You mean your success depends on us? : Sunburst: Uh... : Firelight: And you have to hang out with us the whole time you're here?! : Starlight Glimmer: Um... : Stellar Flare: Well, I'll hear what you have to say. But every plan I've made for this town is perfectly reasonable. : Firelight: Good luck convincing me my preservation efforts don't make sense. : Starlight Glimmer and Sunburst: sighs : creaking : Automated voice: Welcome to Sire's Hollow! : Starlight Glimmer: So we can't hold the books? : "Raspberry Latte": laughing No! : Sunburst: Can you hold the books? : "Minty Mocha": No. : Starlight Glimmer: So nopony can read the books? : Firelight: chuckles Isn't she adorable? chuckles : clanking : Automated voice: Welcome to Sire's Hollow! : "Ever Essence": You can call them... mm... "smells". But I call them essence! : spritz : Sunburst: coughing : Starlight Glimmer: sniffs Fruity. : Sunburst: Too bad there's nowhere to get actual fruit. : Stellar Flare: In the future, all ponies will drink their fruit! : Starlight Glimmer and Sunburst: slurping : Starlight Glimmer: coughing : thud : "Cracked Wheat": One hundred percent ancient pony grains! Just like the town founders ate! Hope you like crust! : thud : creaking : Automated voice: Welcome to Sire's Hollow! : creaking : Automated voice: Welcome to Sire's Hollow! : creaking : Automated voice: Welcome to Sire's Hollow! : creaking : Automated voice: Welcome to Sire's Hollow! : creaking : Automated voice: Welcome to Sire's—! : Stellar Flare: Okay, it's annoying. I get it. : Firelight: Maybe my preservation efforts were a little over the top. : crash! : "Cracked Wheat": groans Oh, no. : Stellar Flare: And I might have been trying to turn the town into a shopping mall. : Firelight: Well, whatever direction the town takes from now on, how about we work together on it? : Stellar Flare: Deal! Sunburst, you should move closer to Ponyville. After this success, I'm sure the Princess of Friendship will want to send you on more missions. : smack! : Sunburst: That's not really how it works. Oh, look at the time! We should get going now that we solved the friendship problem, right, Starlight? : Starlight Glimmer: Yeah... The thing is, I don't think we did solve it. When we solve a friendship problem, our cutie marks are supposed to glow. : Firelight: Aw, don't be disappointed, puddin'. Your papa will work this out for ya. : Starlight Glimmer: Heh. My papa wasn't called by the map in Twilight's castle. I'' was. : '''Stellar Flare': How are you gonna explain this to the princess? What's your plan if she fires you from friendship quests? : Sunburst: Mom! She doesn't—! It-It's not—! : Stellar Flare: Use your words, Sunburst. : Sunburst: groan : Starlight Glimmer: I guess you two weren't the problem we were sent to solve after all. : Stellar Flare: So now you don't even know why you're here? Ah! We have to figure this out before we run out of time! : Sunburst: sighs Mom, there isn't a time limit. : Firelight: So you're here for an extra long visit? laughs You can stay in your old room, punkie wunk! It's just like you left it! : riff : Starlight Glimmer: whispering We need to find this friendship problem now! : Firelight: Now, I know you have your little job to do, but Stellar and I know the town a lot better than you two. : Stellar Flare: That's right! Neither of you have been home in ages. You're gonna need our help to succeed! : Starlight Glimmer: I guess that makes sense... : Firelight and Stellar Flare: chuckling : Stellar Flare: I already have some ideas! : Firelight: Me, too! : Sunburst: I think I liked it better when they were fighting. : tapping : Firelight: Okay! Now that I've explained how Sire's Hollow was founded, we can start to explore all the possible friendship problems that might have developed over time. : Starlight Glimmer: inhales I appreciate the history lesson, Dad, but I need to find the problem now. In the present. : Firelight: Aw, now, hon-bun. How are you gonna do that without all the backstory, huh? Oh! Of course I know how hard it is for you to sit still and focus, soooo... would it help you pay attention to hold on to your bwankie? : Starlight Glimmer: growling : Stellar Flare: Now, you've had a little setback. But don't worry. I know exactly what you need to do. : Sunburst: Make a plan? : Stellar Flare: Already got one! Step one – interview the suspects. Step two – use your talents to solve the issue. Step three – get the Princess of Friendship to send you on more missions! : Sunburst: Mom! It does not work like that! : Stellar Flare: Uh-huh. : beat : Stellar Flare: throat : "Ever Essence": acted Oh! Thank goodness you are here! These two ponies refuse to use my essences. : "Raspberry Latte": Maybe because we don't like to cover our natural scent! : Stellar Flare: throat irritably : "Ever Essence": Ugh. : "Raspberry Latte": Ugh. : "Minty Mocha": sighs acted And she refuses to buy our books. : "Ever Essence", "Raspberry Latte", and "Minty Mocha": acted Surely this is a friendship problem. : Sunburst: Ugh! It needs to be a real friendship problem! You can't just make one up! groan : Stellar Flare: This is what happens when we don't rehearse! Ugh! : Firelight: Starlight? Sweetie? I found a really old town bylaw that nopony agrees on. Apparently, we're not supposed to prance or canter after dinnertime. Could that be the problem? Silly-filly? : Starlight Glimmer: Whew! What are you doing? : Sunburst: sighs Hiding from my mother. She started making up friendship problems for me to solve. : Starlight Glimmer: scoffs My dad won't even let me talk to anypony in case they're "strangers". I'm a grown mare! : Sunburst: sighs We're never going to find the friendship problem with them around, let alone solve it. : "Cracked Wheat": Maybe you two should start looking for it on your own? crunching : clicks : Starlight Glimmer: whispering Okay! So we wanted to talk to all of you, you know, in private. : Sunburst: whispering Just to see if there were issues any of you had with your friends. : "Ever Essence": whispering Got it. Just one question. Why are we whispering? : "Cracked Wheat": They're avoiding their parents. : "Ever Essence", "Raspberry Latte", and "Minty Mocha": Ohhhh... agreement : Sunburst: No. Not avoiding. Just... taking a break. : Starlight Glimmer: Yeah. We needed to focus. B-But we're definitely not avoiding them. : "Raspberry Latte": So you're whispering with all of us in the darkest corner of the shop where nopony can possibly see because you're not avoiding them? : Starlight Glimmer: Mm-hmm. : Sunburst: Uh, but they definitely can't hear us in here, right? : "Cracked Wheat": No way! This is the antiquities section. Nopony ever comes back here. : Firelight: There you are! But what are you doing in here? gasps Is the friendship problem in my favorite section of the bookstore? : Starlight Glimmer and Sunburst: groans : Firelight: ...And then, I thought the best way to look for a friendship problem in the present... : Starlight Glimmer: Dad! : Firelight: ...was to look back in our town history even farther! : Starlight Glimmer: groan : Stellar Flare: Sunburst! Oh, finally! Now, I know you don't want me to make up a problem, but what if I start one? : Sunburst: That's not how this—! : Stellar Flare: I mean, nopony ever became a success by following all the rules, right? : Sunburst: angrily : Stellar Flare: Firelight How are things on your end? : Firelight: Couldn't be better! New leads and such! : Starlight Glimmer: Guys...? : Stellar Flare: We really are providing excellent assistance, aren't we? : Sunburst: Guys! : Firelight: I dare say our children should be grateful for our help. : Starlight Glimmer: Guys! : Starlight Glimmer and Sunburst: We don't want your help! : Stellar Flare: I'm sorry. You don't want our help? : Firelight: chuckles That's... That's ridiculous! What reason could you possibly have for that? : Starlight Glimmer: Because you're driving us crazy! : Stellar Flare: Oh, really? And just how am I driving you crazy? : Sunburst: By always coming up with plans! I don't need a plan! I mean, maybe I do, but it'll be mine, not yours! : Stellar Flare: up Well... I'm sorry for trying to help! crying : Starlight Glimmer: And you're not any better! I'm not a filly! I'm a grown pony with a job to do, and I'll do it on my own! : Firelight: Well. I'll let you get to it then. : Starlight Glimmer: Great. Now we have to smooth things over with our parents on top of finding and solving a friendship problem. : Sunburst: It's almost like our relationship with our parents is the friendship problem. : Starlight Glimmer: You don't think that's it, do you? : "Cracked Wheat": throat That's what all of us think. : Starlight Glimmer: collapses Why couldn't we have been sent to stop a war or something?! : Starlight Glimmer: Dad? : Firelight: Hello, Ms. Glimmer. How is your friendship problem search going? I only ask as an interested observer, since I know you are an adult who's capable of doing things without help from anypony else. : Starlight Glimmer: Actually... I think Sunburst and I figured out what it is. : Firelight: So Stellar and I weren't really helpful after all. : Starlight Glimmer: Well, we haven't actually solved it. And I don't think we can. Not without you. : Stellar Flare: sniffs : spritz : Stellar Flare: coughing Pungent. Ugh. Sunburst Oh. Did you come by to be driven crazy by more of your mother's plans? : Sunburst: No, I came to apologize. : Stellar Flare: Well, it's going to take more than an apology to make up for telling me you don't want my help finding your friendship problem. : Sunburst: Oh, I'm not sorry for that. Starlight and I already figured out what the problem is. : Stellar Flare: This is a terrible apology. : Sunburst: Well, if you come with me and help fix it, I'll give you a better one. : Starlight Glimmer: Usually, Twilight or one of our other friends gets called to a place with a friendship problem to fix. : Sunburst: But Starlight and I realized we came here to fix a friendship problem we already had. : Starlight Glimmer: I'm sorry I've been avoiding coming home, Dad. But you can't keep treating me like a foal. : Firelight: I'm sorry, sugarbun. sighs I just know how hard things were for you when you left home. I guess I wanted you to feel safe, like... when you were young. : Starlight Glimmer: Dad, I know I've made some mistakes, and I'll probably make a bunch more. But I learn from them. I think that's what growing up is. : Sunburst: I'm sorry I never told you how much your plans bothered me, and I know you just want me to succeed. But I need to do that on my own. : Stellar Flare: I remember how lost you were when you flunked out of magic school. I thought as long as you had a plan, you'd never feel that way again. : Sunburst: You don't have to worry, Mom. I need to find my own way. And I definitely don't feel lost anymore. : sounds : "Cracked Wheat": crying That's so beautiful! : Stellar Flare: The glowing cutie mark is such a symbol of accomplishment. I don't suppose there's a way for you to get it to glow all the time. : Sunburst: chuckles Pretty sure it doesn't work that way. : Starlight Glimmer: Not unless we solved a friendship problem every few seconds, and I kinda hope this one will be it for a while. : Firelight: You know, it seems to me your map is saying we're not just your parents. Heh. We're your friends, too. : Starlight Glimmer: I guess so. : Firelight: So if I promise to treat you less like a little filly and more like a friend, will you visit more? : Starlight Glimmer: Absolutely. Mmm. : Sunburst: And if you start to drive me crazy again, I'll tell you instead of never coming home. : Stellar Flare: That's lovely of you to say, dear. But you know, I can always visit you. : Firelight: Stellar, you're a genius! laughs How do you feel about a road trip? : Stellar Flare: I might have a few plans for that. : Starlight Glimmer and Sunburst: nervously : chugging : credits